11 Signs Your Partner Wants You For Love (Not Just Sex)

“Lust is temporary, romance can be nice, but love is the most important thing of all. Because without love, lust and romance will always be short-lived” – Danielle Steel

As Judith Viorst right points out, “Lust is what keeps you wanting to do it even when you have no desire to be with each other. Love is what makes you want to be with each other even when you have no desire to do it.” Trying to figure out your partner’s intentions can oftentimes be difficult.

There will always be people who want you for what you can do for them, whether this be unreciprocated emotional labor, or just sex. Men and women both struggle with running into people who only want to use them for their bodies. It can be pretty disappointing, and getting back out there after that can feel incredibly daunting.

However, not everyone operates in relationships this way. There are ways to tell when your partner is genuine in their affections, and wants to be with you out of love.


You’ll be able to tell that your partner cares about you as a whole person and not just for sex when they show genuine interest in your life, your opinions, thoughts and ideas. If there’s something you’re extremely passionate about, your partner should take an interest in it, even if all they do is listen to you ramble on. On the other hand, “If it’s just lust, he will not invest much time in conversations. And usually he will just blatantly ask for sex,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Lianne Avila